Kimley is an American blogger who thinks biographical artist statements are pretentious and soul-crushing to write. Throughout her artistic “career”, she has had to write at least ten, each endeavor stealing a minimum of five years off of her life. While writing this statement, she is aware that there is a correct way to write an artist statement. Tell them where you’re from (upstate New York) tell them about your cute dog that curls up next to you as you read (I don’t have any pets) and illustrate the nuances of your intentions with this blog (lol.) She refused to indulge in this pompous, performative promotion of self (good alliteration.)

Instead, she wrote: Kimley is attempting to pursue writing in a semi-professional medium. She is also afraid of insects.